Ochuko, Dave’s newly wedded wife, during their wedding reception, discovered that Dave’s people refused to give her people food.
She noticed this from where they sat and complained to Dave. Dave excused himself and walked to his mother, as she was in charge, to please give his wife’s people food. She agreed and Dave returned to his place beside his beautiful wife.
Time passed. And she noticed still, that her people had been served only water. The angry bride got up, and serious drama ensued.
She didn’t care if it was her wedding. She created a very unpleasant scene. So much so, she pulled off her ring and said she was no longer marrying Dave. Dave, after trying unsuccessfully to calm her down, equally said, he wouldn’t be marrying her again. As she refused to reason with him.
It took the intervention of some elders and other invited guests for Ochuko to come to her senses, and for Dave to accept her back.
How do I know this story? Ochuko is my friend. A little distant though. And I was at her wedding.
One would think that after the first drama, things would have been resolved. But it wasn’t.
When it was time for gifts and souvenirs, Ochuko gave order to the two ladies she placed in charge, to not give souvenirs to her husband’s people, only hers, and those she invited.
When Ochuko’s in-laws came for their souvenirs, they were all ignored.
After I returned from my friend’s wedding, thoughts crowded my head, especially because of what went down.
Despite all the promises Dave made to Ochuko, she still behaved badly. Is it possible Dave had made empty promises in the past? Telling her one story or the other? Or did he always like making empty promises? Maybe that was why she behaved the way she did. It doesn’t excuse the fact that she was rude though. Ochuko should not have challenged her in-laws and thrown her wedding ring on the floor because of something as little as party food. She should have understood that her husband was trying to avoid any form of embarrassment, hence he begged her from the start.
I have shared this real life story with you to hammer on three things; communication, understanding and support.
If these three ingredients are missing from your relationship, no matter how far you’ve both come, it will crash.
If you cannot understand your partner, how do you intend to move forward in your relationship, and eventually be happily married?
I know of someone who communicates effectively with his wife and kids, even in public, with just eye contact. Why? A high level of communication has been built over the years, therefore promoting understanding and support.
If understanding between the both of you is solid, it goes a long way in solving a lot of problems that would otherwise have drowned your relationship.
Isn’t it wonderful? For you to understand what your spouse is saying, to understand the situation at hand, to understand what he/she is passing through, to understand his/her moods, and move to avert a major disaster in your relationship, makes you a wonderful person.
To me, effective communication and understanding is an art that you develop over time through constant practice.
Understanding matters a lot in a relationship and marriage. And like I always say, if you don’t understand your partner, who will? The answer is…No one else will.
Have you called up your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife today? Have you made efforts to understand them today? To understand how their day went? Please, don’t let the day go by on this. Make efforts to build that bridge that links to both your hearts. Help him/her relax and unwind after a stressful day. And your efforts will definitely pay off.
Don’t be like the 5 foolish Virgins in the bible who didn’t understand the importance of bringing extra oil with them. Rather, be like the other 5 who understood the importance.
This is me saying cheers to you, as you work towards building communication, love, respect, understanding and support, in your relationship.
Ifeoma Isabella Okeke is a passionate creative writer and a contributor on Pelleura. Her work, titled, ‘My Legendary-Achebe’ earned her an award in the 2016 essay writing competition. When she isn’t working or glued to her books, she spends time thinking up new ideas. Her two novels, Moonlight and the Warrior and The Return of Ijele are available on Okadabooks. She is currently working on her third. Her life is indeed, her message.