Have you ever been in a relationship where you had no feeling toward your partner?
Have you been in love with your partner, but all of a sudden you fell out of love with him or her?
I have heard a lot of people say, LOVE IS NOT THE NUMBER ONE THING IN A RELATIONSHIP
But I beg to defer. A relationship WITHOUT love won’t last. Why? Because:
1. Love is the only thing that can make you overlook certain annoying traits in your partner.
2. Love is the only thing that can make you go the extra mile for your partner.
3. Love is the only thing that can make you take insults FOR your partner.
4. Love is the only thing that can make you stay with your partner even in hard times.
I have seen men and women, some friends, some acquaintances, who left their beautiful relationships built on respect and understanding only, for relationships that happened as ‘love at first sight’. Love.
Love is powerful. It helps you see a person differently.
Your partner can change overnight as time goes by. Change is constant. But no matter what, a solid relationship built on love and understanding, can stand and face whatever the world throws at it.
The beauty of any relationship, in my personal opinion, is falling in love and sustaining that love.
The main reason why love fades in most relationships is because one partner stopped caring, stopped communicating and stopped doing all the things he/she used to do.
The saying, “we come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”, isn’t a child’s play and not for the faint hearted. No matter the flaws of your partner, try hard to focus on his/her good qualities.
My elder brother will always say, “there’s no perfect person anywhere. As long as your partner has more good than bad, stick with him/her and do everything to make your relationship work”.
However, falling in love is one thing. Sustaining that love is another. This is where the following comes to play.
1. Communication – deep heart to heart communication leads to the rest, listed below
4. Support (financially, emotionally, physically).
The above listed helps keep your relationship through the test of time.
Please o, if you are dating someone who doesn’t appreciate you, love you or isn’t there for you, please do yourself good and leave him/her. Life is too precious to waste on people who do not want to see you.
A relationship is like a journey. Only both of you can decide your final destination.
If you have issues in your relationship, don’t go taking advice from every Tom, Dick and Harry. You have to know, the advice Jacobs / Lilian gives to you, even though it worked for him/her, might not work for you.
And please, if you’re not of age, do not go into relationships, thinking because you’re in love, everything else will fall in place. Life isn’t a bed of roses. Such young relationships hardly ever lead to anything worthwhile. It will be just a time for one partner to play with the other. And being very young minds, a lot of things can go wrong as you are not mature in mind to handle some emotional issues that arise with relationships.
I was coming back from work one Friday night, when I saw a woman crying and holding the picture of a very young girl with her, and they were people that stayed behind her, singing sorrowfully. A thousand question raced through me.
What could have killed such a young girl? How did she die?
I decided to ask someone who told me that the girl in the picture died while trying to terminate an unwanted pregnancy. And the most painful part was that she was not up to 15 years. To the young girl, she felt what she was doing was the right thing, but it was wrong and it cost her life.
A serious and mature relationship is mostly about giving before taking. But in a case where one partner is doing all the giving, he/she should know, their partner isn’t really into them, and so not really into the relationship.
A relationship should not be like that. And no matter how much in love you think you are, don’t only be a giver. More importantly, don’t always be a taker. Balance is the key.
The True meaning of having a beautiful relationship is defined, if both partners are really in love and then do everything possible to sustain that love. Quarrels and misunderstanding will come. But love and sincere communication will overcome them.
Ifeoma Isabella Okeke is a passionate creative writer and a contributor on Pelleura. Her work, titled, ‘My Legendary-Achebe’ earned her an award in the 2016 essay writing competition. When she isn’t working or glued to her books, she spends time thinking up new ideas. Her two novels, Moonlight and the Warrior and The Return of Ijele are available on Okadabooks. Her life is indeed, her message.