Yes, my ex-told me exactly what this post title says. You may ask, what led to that? Well, we had been discussing marriage when he made it clear to me, he did not like my line of business, as it involved too much exposure on the internet.
He is the type who doesn’t like to get visible on the internet, and so he does not want the woman he marries to be.
To make matters even more annoying, he prefers that I abandon my business and work with him to grow his own. I refused, after telling him he was dreaming.
He then went on to say that famous bloggers like Linda Ikeji and a host of others are not married today because no man is willing to get roped in their blogging drama. He said such bloggers buy husbands; he sees them every day in Lagos.
And so he said my best bet was to stop trying to follow in their footstep all in the name of building a business and creating so much exposure to me, else I find myself in their shoes; with no husband. And no husband means no children. So I wouldn’t have a family of my own.
I don’t know what’s wrong with SOME men. But this guy is the third that has told me to quit and come work with him instead, to build his own businesses. And this is all because these guys feel like a woman’s only reason for existence is marriage, and that her sole role in life is to help her husband grow, while she remains very unaccomplished.
I mean, seriously. Do all guys think like this? I don’t think so though, because
- Laura Ikeji’s husband supports her 100 percent.
- Omoni Oboli’s husband supported her dreams 100 percent that’s why she is where is she is today, keeping a family, being a mom, a wife, an actress, and producer. If you read her book, “The Stars Are Ageless”, you’d see more about his complete support there.
- If Funke Akindele’s husband had asked her to quit, she wouldn’t be where she is today.
- What about Joke SIlver and her husband, Olu Jacobs?
- Then there’s Tara Fela-Durotoye. Her business has long gone international
So I believe there are men who think differently but why are the shallow minded ones coming my way sef? I really need to find out why.
When I insisted on growing my business, he said, “ok. But instead of you to run it personally, give it to someone to run for you; let the person become the face of the business and handle everything concerning it.
His excuse was that he didn’t want his wife or himself known on the internet. I said ok. I can keep your identity secret. No need to be known. But I will continue my business. Oga was not satisfied.
In this age and time, do you still trust someone to run your business for you? And to go as far as being the face of the business?
The interesting part is that all the above is coming from the mouth of someone who said he cannot trust another person with his business, and that is why he prefers to have his wife be at the helm of affairs with him. So why should the wife now trust another person to handle her own business? And to be the face of her business?
In this age where everyone is pushing hard, using the opportunity the internet creates to achieve their dreams, why should anyone ask you to quit your business for a ring?
I read a post on Nairaland recently of Genevieve Nnaji being admitted into a talent school where the likes of Angelina Jolie are. With all her achievements, the only comment some annoying species could drop is, “When is this old hag going to start her marriage career?”
I’m not big with quarreling online or throwing insults. I would have taken on those guys and started a Nairalnd war.
Do I want to get married? Someday, yes. Do I want to quit my business for it? Never. So whoever comes up has to know, he/she is marrying me and my business. Not me alone.
I’m bringing this up to encourage the ladies. You need to create your own income stream. You need to live your dreams; you need to achieve your goals. Do not quit what you want to be because you want to get married. It will leave you very unfulfilled.
One woman commented on an Instagram post about this same topic saying she has been married for 10 years and didn’t get fulfillment because she was not living her dreams.
Just yesterday, I read a sad story about a woman who quit her business for marriage. 2 years in, her husband is asking her if she can’t work, and if the ladies growing their businesses have 8 heads. He gives her enough money just for housekeeping, and their little boy. Nothing for her own personal upkeep.
Please, ladies. You cannot be falling into this kind of problem in this time of awareness. Do not rush marriage. The one meant for you, who will even encourage and support you to live your dreams, will one day show up. Please be patient.
Marriage doesn’t mean your life should end. Will Smith, in one of his interviews, when asked how he had kept his marriage going this long said, “the first principle he stuck to is not asking his wife to change from what she has always been/ her line of work, to be/do something else that may or may not go down well with her.
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So, have you been in the business of freelance writing? What has been your toughest challenge?