Once upon a time, I was in this exact situation. Someone was madly in love with me. But I was in love with someone else. This someone else didn’t even know I had strong feelings for him.
By all logic and reason, the right thing to do was to let him know how I felt about him. So of course, I told him and that was a huge mistake.
It obliterated our friendship, mostly because he didn’t love me in return.
I always thought he was the right person for me. I saw him to be everything I ever needed in a man, not knowing that he wouldn’t love me in return.
What to do? I reluctantly gave the other person, who was still madly in love with me, a chance. And it turned out to be a really successful relationship.
Till date, I’ve had no reason to regret saying yes.
The word love is an immersable or indescribable feeling of joy that fills our entire being. It brings happiness as well as sadness. Love doesn’t just happen. It happens for a reason.
But what happens when you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you in return? And at the same time, there is someone who really loves you, but you don’t love him/her?
In some cases, I advise people who find themselves in such situation, to look inwards and reflect on these five questions:
1. Why do I love this person?
2. What do I see in him/her, that is absent in the one who loves me?
3. What advantage does the one who love me, have over the one I love?
4. Will the one I love ever love me back? Or I’m I just wasting my time with him/her?
5. Is there a chance that if I open up my heart, I can finally fall in love with the one who loves me?
If you can answer these questions, then you can choose to love the person that loves you, by deciding to see the person as you have seen the one you love.
Or, you can go on being blind to the one who loves you.
When you give your heart and attention to someone who fails to love you in return, you’re knowingly openning yourself up to depression, anger and hatred.
You start feeling like your world is falling apart. Pain will slowly take possession of your feeling, stabbing at your heart.
In some cases, you’ll shed tears, no matter how tough you may be.
The truth, though, is you can’t always love everybody that loves you… And not everybody you want, will want you…..
Love is too deep to settle for just anything….
The best advice ever given, as regards this matter, is to wait for that person that is going to love you, as much as you love him/her.
Don’t be in a hurry, and then end up in a terrible situation.
You cannot control how you feel, but you can learn to get past the pain of romantic rejection and move on with your life.
You need to accept the fact that feelings are normal, and that romantic rejection can trigger the same response in your brain as withdrawing from drug addiction.
If you don’t try to get focused on your life again you will just keep thinking about that same person.
The only thing you can control in life is your own action. You don’t have to be unkind to this person, but what you need to do is take a break from him/her and live on. find a different friend or you can give the prrson that is loving you a try.
Sometimes, such company can help to fill that empty space, and keep boredom at bay.
One of the ways to let go of your feelings for that person you are in love with, is to express it openly and honestly through and for, creative hobbies like music, movies, art etc.
It is good to stay away from suicidal thoughts and metal music, as they can actually make you feel worse.
Studies have even suggested that acknowledging negative things about the person can help you get past romantic rejection more quickly.
Please don’t fall into the trap of saying mean things about the person, just to make you feel better. Doing such can actually make you even feel bitter and angry.
Avoid calling or texting the person. delete his/her contact from your phone and try to distract yourself by hanging out with friends. Move on to other activities.
Don’t allow yourself to believe that just because this one person doesn’t love you, then you aren’t worth loving.
After all some else is in love with you.
Have you been in this position before? How did you overcome? Please share your experience with us. Someone else might learn from it.