“Why are you doing this, Peter? When did you start taking this thing serious? No Peter, no! I am not going to sign any stupid divorce papers! Get that into your skull!” Patricia said in a rush of anger.
“Patricia, you and I know the truth. I don’t love you. I only got married to you because of the baby which you lost some two months ago. Look here, woman, you had better sign that paper before I come home from work, if not, you will see the other side of me”. Peter said and angrily walked out of the house. Patricia sat down heavily on the settee and cried.
Peter and Patricia (P.P) met two years ago, at a wedding ceremony. They were introduced to each other by their parents. Unlike other stories of ladies from poor homes, Patricia comes from a wealthy home. She fell in love with Peter at first sight, and being the only daughter and child of her parents, she asked them to inform Peter’s parents about her feelings for their son, being that their fathers were business associates.
Her parents obliged. They informed Peter’s parents about the development, and they in turn told Peter. Peter wasn’t interested. But after series of persuation from his parents, he agreed.
Although, it was obvious any man who set eyes on Patricia would love to have her. But not for Peter. He just didn’t have any feeling towards her. But he played a long. After all, he would have fun too.
One thing led to another, and Patricia became pregnant. Peter proposed marriage and together, they went to the altar.
Few months after their wedding ceremony, Patricia lost the baby and Peter felt betrayed. After all, why did he marry Patricia in the first place? Simple. He didn’t want the child to be fatherless.
The above story is just one of many real life stories out there. Alot of people, men and women, rush into Relationships/Marriages because their friends or classmates are getting Married or are in a relationship, so they also want to be in one.
Unfortunately, they quickly forget they have to shine their eyes before they can cross to the other side. A friend of my mother, Ms. Kate, described rushing into marriage as one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. She told me, “I got married because my friends were getting married and I also needed to get away from home. I met a guy, and we got married. Rather, we rushed into marriage, two months after we met.
We had two children. And 5 years later, we divorced. It wasn’t a wise decision to marry him after all, even though he was the only way out then. So please, tell your friends: When it comes to marriage, don’t rush into it.
Please look before you leap, shine your eyes before you cross to the other side so that you won’t regret it”.
Young ladies of today are always rushing to be in a relationship because their friends are into it, and these friends talk about how their boyfriends spend money on them daily. Others rush into marriage so as to have kids before their time runs out.
“The biggest mistake is being too quick to be in a Relationship, most especially, in marriage. Before you date a person, get to know that person very well, and before you marry him, know him, at least, almost like the back of your hand.
Know what makes him happy. Know how he acts when happy, or stressed up, or sad. Both parties have to be very willing and very open, and often times make concessions, as they get to know each other. So please, take a very serious look before you commit yourself into a Relationship”, Mrs Chioma said.
In most cases young ladies of today tend to do one of these two things. Either they fall passionately in love and commit themselves into the Relationship, just like Romeo and Juliet, Cinderella styles, or they can, especially when they are in their 30s, commit in any relationship out of desperation, for fear that no one better will come along. So they end up being in a bad relationship.
My advice to you is, do not be in haste to answer ‘Mrs’. When you see the right person, your heart will tell you that he is the one for you.
Before you say Yes in a relationship, you have to study and understand what you are about to get into. It is way better not to marry, than to marry the wrong person and regret it later in life.
Patricia was blinded by her love for Peter. She must have noticed his nonchalant attitude towards her, but went on to get pregnanat anyway, hoping the pregnancy would make Peter fall in love with her. But look how wrong she was.
Single ladies, this write-up is for you. Please don’t be like Patricia. If you love a guy so much and yet you notice he doesn’t appreciate you, then why are you still in that relationship? Or are you that blind that you do not take notice of how he treats others ladies better than you?
If you notice these things, biko, jejely pick up your handbags, your shoes etc and walk out of that relationship. Remember a Relationship is not a contest, never keep a score. Look before you leap.
Ensure he is one that cares about your well being.
Ensure he expresses his love to your by words and actions.
Ensure he is free enough to communicate deeply with you.
Ensure he can stand up to defend you before his friends and family.
Ensure he is not abusive, both physically and verbally.
These are just some things to look out for.
In my next post, on Relationship Hangout With Bella, I’m going to focus on the guys. I’m going to tell you the 5 major things to look out for in a lady that is truly interested in you, and in making your relationship work. Stop dating everything on skirt. It could increase you BP. So watch this space.
Did this article impact you in anyway, or you have something else to add? please drop your comments in the comment section. I look forward to reading from you.
About the Author
Ifeoma Isabella Okeke is a passionate creative writer and a contributor on Pelleura. Her work, titled, ‘My Legendary-Achebe’ earned her an award in the 2016 essay writing competition. When she isn’t working or glued to her books, she spends time thinking up new ideas. Her two novels, Moonlight and the Warrior and The Return of Ijele are available on Okadabooks. She is currently working on her third. Her life is indeed, her message.