Relationship Hangout With Bella: What Drives Men Away and What Attracts Them

When it comes to relationships, you should know that there are things which attracts a guy to you and things that you do that can drive them away.

Now it doesn’t matter if we are talking about a married guy here or a single one. Men are mostly the same when it comes to their need for a partner. And so you have to ask yourself, what can easily attract members of the opposite sex to me, and what can drive them away.

Let’s see them below.

1. Your Character:

Your Character determines if he will stay or go. Now good character doesn’t necessarily mean being obedient and doing all the good things just to please a man. Different men like different characters in women.

Some like a woman who is strong-willed. Some like a woman who doesn’t take nonsense from them and can be stubborn. Some like women that are tolerant and soft-hearted, but also strong-willed and take no-nonsense.

I’ve seen a guy pledge his undying love for his girlfriend. And when I asked why he loved her so much, he said because she was a no-nonsense lady. You cannot just insult her and walk away.

I’ve also seen men who married women who couldn’t cook but were determined to learn. In those relationships, being a good cook wasn’t the uppermost. The women simply had the character the men liked.

When you have a good Character you have everything, because that tells who you are.

What I’m saying is, in as much as you’re nice, accommodating, obedient and have all the good qualities according to society, if you allow people, especially of the opposite sex, walk all over you like a foot mat, you will be regarded as such.

Good character doesn’t mean being quiet and allowing people treat you badly, all because you feel you do not want to pass a wrong impression.

2. Your Outward Appearance:

Men generally love their partner to look good and dress fine. No guy wants to date someone who dresses like one ‘Mbeke from the village. They want someone they will like to show off and have their friends whisper to them “your girl looks nice”.

I know of a lady that a man got married to for several reasons, including her but mostly including her dressing and general appearance.

Now after some years and she has given birth to three kids, I saw her again and was shocked. When I asked her about her family she started complaining of how her husband goes about cheat on her with the young ladies (prostitutes) around their area.

In thoughts I was like, “why won’t he?” For goodness sake, she was dressed like one house girl from the 60s. In our present age, even house girls are beginning to upgrade.

A fine young beautiful lady like her turned herself into an ‘Old Mama’. Just because she gave birth to three children? Unfortunately for her, one of the major things I know attracted the man to his wife in the first place was the way she dressed and how she did her makeup.

Since her appearance changed, her husband also changed. She unknowingly drove her husband into the hands of other ladies when she stopped looking good.

A lot of married women are like this lady. Their thinking will be, ‘I am married already. If I leave myself nothing will happen. My husband still loves me.

My sisters, who told you so? You had better wake up from that dream and face the reality that if you don’t work on your appearance your marriage will be on a thin line.

Now appearance doesn’t just mean your clothes and makeup. It includes your body odour – use a roll on and a perfume, it includes your hair – always have your hair made, it includes your jewelries – wear it light, it includes how well manicured your nails are – keep them clean and beautiful, it includes your skin – use a very good cream with skin moisturizer and sunscreen to maintain your skin. Let it glow.

Also, wear the right shoes, eat the right food in the right quantity to help you keep in shape. Use creams like damatol to remove pimples, eczema, rashes, acne, etc, from your face. In my next post, I’ll discuss the best types of products you can use to free your skin of all the above mentioned.

3. Dirty habits / Neat habits:

No man can date a dirty lady. You can spend time in his house over the weekend and clean up like mad. But what will it be, If he comes to your place on a surprise visit?

You have to be neat, as men hate foul odor and the sight of dirt. Being neat includes not wearing one cloth over and over again, washing your hair regularly, brushing morning and night, keeping your home clean, especially the kitchen and toilets etc…

4. Cooking:

Have you not heard of a saying, ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?’ When you know how to cook, you have capture your man’s heart, but when you don’t, you are driving him to some ladies’ pot and hearts.

I once read a story of a man who married two wives. When he was asked why he got married to a second wife he said that his first wife did not know how to cook. He said he use to drop money for his wife every time she wanted to cook. His wife would go to a food seller that wasn’t far from their home and buy all the food. If it is time for cooking soup, she will pay the food seller money to cook the soup for her. This went up for a while till she was caught red-handed by him. So the man got married to the food vendor as his second wife.

However, a lot of men, these days especially, don’t see cooking as a priority for marriage. They are willing to be with that lady, as long as she is willing to learn those things she might at that time, not have learnt, including cooking.

5. Being a Leech:

It is heartbreaking when I see some ladies sit back, fold their hands and refuse to work. But of course, they like free money.

Someone once told me how she offered a job to a lady at the university because she felt she could use the salary to help settle some issues. She turned down the job. Only to later find out, she sleeps around for money. That option felt better for her because it is quick cash.

My dear ladies;
1. No man values a woman he sleeps with for cash.
2. No man likes a girlfriend who cannot work for her own money but is always in his pocket, taking from him.
3. No husband values a woman who cannot hold grounds for him, especially if he has temporary setbacks at work or in his business.

So, that’s my two cents people. Please add yours. What are those things that you know, drives men away from women?

Thanks for reading. Please don’t forget to like, share with your friends and drop your comment. I really look forward to your feedback.

About Bella

Relationship handout with Bella
Relationship Hangout

Ifeoma Isabella Okeke is a passionate creative writer and a contributor on Pelleura. Her work, titled, ‘My Legendary-Achebe’ earned her an award in the 2016 essay writing competition. When she isn’t working or glued to her books, she spends time thinking up new ideas. Her two novels, Moonlight and the Warrior and The Return of Ijele are available on Okadabooks. Her life is indeed, her message.

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