Relationship Hangout With Bella – My Brother Won’t Let Me Date His Friend

Mary had paid me a visit earlier, and it was while I was seeing her off she brought up the fact that she had feelings for one of her brother’s friends, since the day she first saw him at her brother’s birthday party

Now, picture this – Mary is of average height, and young. She is a Mass Communication final year student at Nnamdi Azikiwe University. Although she is fair in complexion, she still was almost an albino, something she couldn’t/didn’t want to come to terms with.

But believe me, Mary is a beautiful lady that causes heads she is totally unaware of, to turn.

Mary and I quickly became friends when she first came to buy some drinks from my mother’s shop. She was home for a weekend break from school and school activities. On that first day, I had been in an angry mood, but her visit drove the moodiness away with jokes upon jokes. And since then, we’ve spent so much more time together, enjoying each other’s company and mouth-watering gists. But we never really talked about relationships or our feelings for members of the opposite sex.

So when she told me about her brother’s friend, I was surprised and asked her to describe the one in particular, because I know most of them. She did, and my brows shot up. I then asked why she hadn’t told the guy about her feelings, or at least, found a way to make him notice her? Below is her response.

“I am too ugly for him to look at. Besides, he doesn’t even show any interest in me and my brother won’t allow me to date any of his friends”.

Well, all brothers are the same. I thought.

Mary’s situation made me think about all the people out there who are in the same fix. It made me think about today’s relationship, and how we seem to be going in circles.

Young ladies are so scared to walk up to a guy and tell him about her feelings. Some feel it is an abomination.

Dear sisters, It is not a crime or a sin to walk up to a guy and tell him how you feel about him. If you’re too scared about rejection, please learn to flash your greenlight without even saying a word.

There is a popular song that says, ‘If you love somebody, walk up to him/her and say, I love you”.

Many people, ladies especially, have lost their soulmate because they were too afraid the guy may not be interested in them.

For the shy guys, they relax and expect the lady to start the relationship. But hey! what if the ladies don’t?

Now the interesting thing Mary doesn’t know is that the same guy she had been eyeing is also eyeing her.

No, he didn’t tell me. I overheard him telling another friend of his one of the days he came to my Mom’s shop to drink.  But according to him, he didn’t know if it would be right to woo Mary, or just close his eyes and walk away. Below are some of the reasons he gave:
1 He is Shy
2 He respects Mary’s brothers and they had jokingly told him once that it will be awkward for their friend to date their sister.

Well, well, well! Do you see there is a huge gap to fill?

Mary believes she is ugly, that’s why her brother’s friend doesn’t want her.  Maybe if she had given the green light, the guy in question would have summoned the courage to woo her and also make her brother understand, he loved his sister.

My advice to you out there is to be open. Don’t cage your voice in one place and expect people to hear what is going on in your head. No one is actually a mind reader. Just be confident and let your heart speak for you.

Don’t hesitate to make your feelings known. It may just be the best thing you did today.


About Bella

Relationship handout with Bella
Relationship Hangout

Ifeoma Isabella Okeke is a passionate creative writer and a contributor on Pelleura. Her work, titled, ‘My Legendary-Achebe’ earned her an award in the 2016 essay writing competition. When she isn’t working or glued to her books, she spends time thinking up new ideas. Her two novels, Moonlight and the Warrior and The Return of Ijele are available on Okadabooks. Her life is indeed, her message.

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About Karo Oforofuo

I am a B2B/B2C Freelance Writer, Ghostwriter, Blogger and Online Business Consultant. I am also an Author and Story teller at

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