I really don’t remember what I was looking for on Instagram some nights back. However, it wasn’t more than 5 seconds I got on the platform that my eyes fell on a video about a woman with 3 grown kids.
It talked about how she suffered an ABUSIVE marriage for some years but was finally able to escape it. However, she had no home and there was no way she was going to sit back and let her and her then young kids remain homeless. With the little cash she saved from her menial job, she was able to buy building materials to build her home with the help of a few workmen, but mostly. with her kids.
How did she do it? She searched for videos on Youtube that teaches how to build a house from the scratch.
I change from the company handle I was logged into, to my personal handle, so as to share the video But I lost it after the change and was unable to find it again. That hurt you know. I would have really loved you guys to see it.
So, since I couldn’t share it, I decided I will write about it today. Why?
I chose to write about this video so as to drive home the message to a lot of women living in abusive relationships and marriages that your life matters. Being married doesn’t mean it is the end of the world for you.
A week back, the picture of a young battered woman who had recently put to bed circulated all over the internet. In that picture, she held her baby close, as she was breastfeeding the child even with her swollen face and lips.
That baby should be about a month’s old, or a month plus. Now if that woman is asked to leave that marriage for her own security and well being, she would tell you she has nowhere else to go, as the man was the one taking care of her. She depends totally on him, and so cannot see herself leaving him.
There has also been the story of a school teacher who mistakenly stabbed her abusive husband to death in self-defense. But trust our police officers. They don’t care if it was self-defense. The woman will be made to take the fall for what she has done. Murder.
Reports have it that the man always physically abused and left terrible marks on her. Now on that fateful day, Oga was at it again, because his wife wouldn’t give him money she had made for the day. Normally, the lady would run out to escape the beatings. But on that particular day, her late husband locked the door in a bid to ensure she didn’t escape him. The punches and kicks continued. It was then the lady got a knife and in self-defense, killed him.
But of course, no police officer wants to know if it was in self-defense or not. She committed murder and she has to take the fall.
Now reports also have it that before the incident, her people had asked her to leave that marriage and come home. She refused. She said she couldn’t leave him as he was the husband of her youth and father of her children.
The truth is, if she had left that marriage as at when she was asked to, she wouldn’t be in police cell right now fighting for her freedom. In fact, the death of her husband would never have happened by her hands.
The saddest part of this, the man wasn’t even contributing to the upkeep of the house. She was the one holding down several jobs and engaging in petty trades just so as to feed the house, pay the bills and send the kids to school. The man was totally jobless and would always beat up his wife if he asked for money and she refused to give him.
However, the man is dead. And she has to pay for murder.
Please, ladies. Your life is important, to you and to your kids. Because if you’re gone, there’ll be no one to care for them the way you do.
Stop thinking you’re helpless. Stop thinking you’re second hand. You’re not. Take the example of the woman who built a house for herself and her kids just by watching a youtube guide on how to build a house.
The internet is here to help you. If you need to start a business to help support you and your kids, the internet is here to help. And there are quite a number of businesses you can start online without or maybe little capital.
If you need to sew clothes for your kids, there are fashion videos on youtube that can teach you. If you want to learn to make hair, there are also videos on youtube for that. There’s practically no type of business you wouldn’t find videos for on youtube.
Seriously, this is a two-way thing. It affects both men and women.
So please, enough of the beatings and death threats. And this applies to girls too. If he/she is abusive, please run for the love of your life and future generation, run out of an abusive relationship. Take the bull by the horn and take charge of your life. Get a job if you want to, or start a business. The choice is yours.
But know this, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life of peace. you deserve to be loved and appreciated. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
You have something else you’ll like to add to this to help people who are suffering from abusive marriages/relationships? Please drop it in the comment box I’ll publish, Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for reading.