Have you ever thought about how to build your self-confidence with affirmations?
“I don’t like the way my eyebrows are laid out,” Miss. Yigrit complains.
“Oh, I really don’t like how thin I look,” Miss Sandra follows, “I need to add some weight so I can have more flesh on me. It’s the only way to get Mike’s attention”.
“I want to start a YouTube channel, but, I’m not as pretty as Maraji. No one will want to watch an ugly person,” Ethel Frowns at herself in the mirror.
Above is the typical conversation a lot of women have with themselves, because they have been programmed to always find faults with their body. This has led to an increase in low self-esteem among women.
I understand this, because I was once programmed that way; to never see anything good about my body. It took determined efforts to come out of it and build my self-confidence.
A lot of us ladies, have made it a habit to continuously complain about how we look. This is, to a large extent, a result of the media brain-washing us with their own description of the ‘perfect feminine beauty”.
I remember when a friend of mine told me that the only reason guys date her is because of how physically endowed she is; her round boobs and backside (Ukwu), are well pronounced. But she still felt she had one disadvantage; her looks. She once said that if it were only for her looks, men will run away from her.
Can I blame her? No. The lady in question is not the media’s definition of beauty, save for her hips and boobs. And guess what? She knows. She knows that people mock her from behind because of her facial features. But she doesn’t care. The last I checked.
She used to be sad about her looks. And it affected her self-confidence. An intense counselling session helped her start loving herself. It helped bulid her confidence and self-steem.
You see, this friend of mine had been approached by men, mainly for the satisfaction of their loins, and that was before she understood that it was lust that brought them, not love. Besides, she saw herself as ugly then.
But since she started to build her self-confidence with counseling and affirmations like, “I Am Not Ugly, But Beautiful”, she cut off from those kind of relationships and refused to rush into another, unless the guy in question was the man for her – the one who will love her for her, not just for her endowments.
True, relationship is not only for the beautiful, the handsome, the tallest or the richest. True again, the love for material things are on the high. But even then, there are a lot of men and women out there who would rather be with, or get married to a partner that looks and thinks beyond cute physical appearances, money and never-ending fun.
Also, a man or lady would rather appreciate a partner who knows how to be positive in the face of obstacles. They love a partner who wouldn’t run off at the slightest challenge and then look for whose shoulders to cry on, while throwing blames to everyone but him/herself.
The other day, I heard one guy telling his friend that if he wants to date or get married, he would go for a very beautiful lady.
I had to ask him, what if this beautiful lady doesn’t bring anything meaningful to the table, what then will he do?
He replied, “I don’t care”.
SO IN OTHER WORDS, beauty alone is okay for him.
I asked the other guy if he would do the same. He said, “No! I don’t care if she is ugly or not, as long as she can think on her feet, she’s daring and one who pushes hard to succeed at anything she sets her mind to, I will marry her”.
From the above, you get to know, ‘its different strokes for different folks’. So if you do not appeal to Mr. A, you definitely will appeal to Mr. B.
For you to be happy in a relationship, you have to first learn to be happy with yourself, because being in a relationship doesn’t mean your partner would suddenly sweep away all your fears and build your self-confidence. You have to do that yourself.
If you see your self as a grasshopper, your partner will see you as such. If you see yourself as a giant, your partner will see you as such. If you see yourself as beautiful, your partner will see you as such.
Believe me when I say that positive attitude alone, will pull to you, people who will love you.
If you have inferiority complex, please don’t expect to have a partner who will suddenly take it away. Nope! And don’t think bleaching creams and even plastic surgeries will take it away either.
You are not Ugly, but beautiful. There is a saying that, “Monkey no fine but e mama like am”.
Besides, no woman was born Ugly. Everyone of us have a beauty in us, you just have to find out what it is and let it blossom. If someone tells you he/she loves your smile, then that’s your tool to win more people over. If they tell you that you’re a great cook, then that’s another tool to win more people over. If they love your confidence. Then you have another tool.
It doesn’t matter if you are tall, short, fat or slim, there is always someone out there who is just waiting impatiently, to meet you.
I learnt a valuable lesson from my friend. And whenever I look in any mirror, I smile and say to myself, “I Am Not Ugly But Beautiful”. Dear readers, you should do the same too. After all, “We All Are Beautiful!”.
List of 20 Affirmations
Below is a list of other affirmations you can use every morning and night.
1. I Am made in God’s image and likeness
2. I have the perfect shape
3. I Am confident of my decisions
4. I Am Gorgeous
5. I have the perfect body
6. I have what it takes to achieve my goals
7. I have all the attention I need to achieve my goals
9. I have the perfect skin
10. I have the perfect smile
11. I have the perfect height
12. I have the perfect friends
13. I Am happy
14. I Am fulfilled
15. I Am above average
16. I Am successful
17. I Am the most sort after in my field
18. I Am healthy
19. I Am strong
20. I Am the perfect friend
How to Build Your Self Confidence With Affirmations
There are several ways to use affirmations, but I’m going to touch on the major ones.
1. Say possitive words to your self everytime. Till now, whenever I catch myself saying something less possitive about myself, or the people and activities around me, I stop, and repeat the words in a possive way.
2. Think positively about yourslef. You will agree that as humans, we think thoughts more than we speak words. Thinking about a thing fixes that thing in our subconscious, unlike when we speak. The subconscious is a power house of it’s own, where vital things that affect our lives happen. So learn to think positive thoughts to yourself. And keep that positivity at heart.
3. Don’t wait for morning, night, or moments when you catch yourself saying negative things. Always speak and think positivity into your life, your business, your body, your relationships, etc.
4. Don’t just speak and think positive words, act on those words. You can’t say or think to yourself that you are beautiful, and then knowingly leave your hair unkempt, your clothes in ruines, and your skin unattended to. Take care of yourself. Take care of your wardrobe. Take care of your skin.
If you’re speaking positivity and confidence into your day to day business activities, take action too. Work on that business with passion while speaking your affirmations into your reality.
So this is it. Please feel free to add more affirmations in the comments. And don’t forget to share this post, you might just help a friend badly in need of this. See you in the comments.
About The Writer
Ifeoma Isabella Okeke is a passionate creative writer and a contributor on Pelleura. Her work, titled, ‘My Legendary-Achebe’ earned her an award in the 2016 essay writing competition. When she isn’t working or glued to her books, she spends time thinking up new ideas. Her two novels, Moonlight and the Warrior and The Return of Ijele, are available at Okadabooks.