Wait! I can’t just start by making the camera roll like this. Where do I start my story? If I tell you my wife cheated on me or she did some dirty work in the strip club, will you ever believe me?
I am a writer, as you all know writing don’t pay bills and beards neither. I have got the whole world ahead of me with a thorny path to tread for survival. Years are counting on my head and I have gotten nothing to show for it from the job I busy myself with – yeah, writing doesn’t pay bills, not in Nigeria!
I never dared compare my life with that of anyone. My friends in business are making it and they are making me look like a loser in the end. I struggled with my wife whose penny assisted the family – thank God we have never gotten any kids, not yet.
Lagos is a land of opportunities – for business-minded people only though – and we had a plan to relocate from our penury and you know what? I gotta save, but how do we make the money? That means I had to steal – which is not a good option – or I involve in some extrajudicial activities to raise a million at least. My wife is the greatest asset I ever had or I will ever have and I was never ready to get her involved in my dirty thought. We might not have the money though, but her skills in bed did a good job of jolting me out of my penury thought whenever it comes to romance and sex – I’m sure you heard me right.
She was understanding and faithful to me and she is just a replica of Eve in the Garden of Eden until the moment she got deceived and dumped me in the ditch. We were in the room tending to our wounds in silence, my mind kept hitting on stealing but where do I start? If I will ever make good money, I will need a gun with my soul sold to the devil and I never knew what she was thinking until the moment she decided to break the silence and our words accidentally struck and again silence encircled us.
I was expecting her to tell me whatever thought she harboured in her mind before telling her mine. But her stare said the words instead, and I heard her say
“I think I have to get involved in stripping jobs for us to raise the money”
What the hell! Did I just hear her right? Oh yeah! My own thought was more harmful compare to hers but she knew there is no way I will have to consent to that. Common, it’s like selling off her dignity to save us the shame but I’m no saint either – I was thinking of selling off my own soul to raise some money.
“Where is this idea coming from?” I sat up.
“Baby, you know I love you and I will do everything to make sure you get the best. I just think by doing this, I’m saving us, we can make a lot of money if you will just allow me” she insisted.
I had to shut her up with a snare. She was sounding disgusting and I couldn’t take it. No way will I allow my own fucking wife to fuck-dance a mother fucker with me knowing.
“You know there is no way I’m going to consent to this” do I really have to remind her?
She moved closer to me and pestered a kiss on my cheek “We have gotten no choice here. You know we have to make money”
“And not with you selling your dignity”
It hurt to keep listening to her. I just think it’s better I make her listen to my own idea.
“I have gotten an idea anyway and that’s quite… complicated, you know” I closed my eyes and summoned the courage to reveal the stinking dirt on my mind with the hope of her consenting to it.
“I think I have to learn to take what is not ours”
At first, she was void of emotion. Her eyes narrowed. I bet she hadn’t gotten the whole idea, fully.
“You mean, you have to steal?” I felt the disgust laced in her words
I simply nodded my head with a “Yeah”
She threw me her sharp gaze and threw herself off my body like a piece of shit. I had to swallow the humiliation this time – I was dirty. She drew closer and took me in her embrace, plastering my forehead with loving kisses. I could feel her love, care and her teardrop rolling down my head capturing the warmth of her heart.
“I wouldn’t have you steal, baby. We can do the little we can do have this money without you stealing” she said before wiping off her tears and I felt once again, guilty.
She rolled me over.
“You know what? Don’t you think stripping seem bit legal compare to your stealing of a thing where you can get yourself killed?” she sounded concerned. She got a point there and I was pinned.
I simply gave her my innocent gaze
“It’s not as if I will be fucking behind your back and not at all. It’s just kind of a dance where we can make a lot of money enough to sort our bills and save for our plans”
I was quiet, not satisfied.
“I know it hurts. But we have to consider this option if we ever have to stay alive and not fucking die, buried and forgotten in a hurry” I knew she was pestering for my consent with her honey-laced words and you know what? She got me. She was right in every way. But there is no way I was going to give her my consent without my rules.
“Okay. I think we just need to give this a trial” I paused and read the expression on her face “but I’m giving you my rules”
“Rules? What rules?” she asked with all seriousness.
“Number one; I will always be there with you in the club to monitor your movements… Two; No dick sucking… Three; no fucking… Four; no VIPs…. Five; no home service… Six; you will promise me to stop when we have made enough money and lastly; You’re gonna give me the best fuck whenever I thirst for it”
Those are my rules.
“You know what?” she shot me her serious gaze. I was scared she will strangle me to death with my rules.
“You are dirty” I watched her giggle. That’s’ a relief and she agreed to follow my rules and I was happy but wait! I turned to her; I just remembered we were just naked and dirty thoughts crept on my mind
I was goddam turned on.
“The rules start now. And I expect you to obey the last rules” She could read fully well the meaning of the smile lurking around my lips.
We both laughed like kids and you don’t expect me to tell you the romp. She had a big heart and quite understanding. I couldn’t let go of the bitterness I felt in my heart to make her take this hard decision because of us – no, because of me. She has my consent now and my rules to follow. We were happy together, not until she broke one the rules and I was dumped.
Agele Ayo is a Nigerian poet and novelist. Several of his literary work; prose, poetry, and articles have been featured on both print and online magazines. He is a graduate from the Department of Sociology at Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba Akoko, Ondo State and a serving corps member in Oyo State, Nigeria.