Many ladies and guys, thanks to our society, are in a hurry to settled down. However, this is mostly common with the ladies. And they end up getting married to the wrong person.
Some youths run into marriage, because they think answering the married status makes them more superior in the home and society at large. Well, the society, our society, makes them feel so. But the same society isn’t there to help when problems arise.
Being in a hurry to get married has never really helped anyone. Some are lucky to have sane marriages. Others are not. Hence you see marriage counselors advising that people shouldn’t rush into marriage. They, as counselors, are neck-deep in their client’s marital issues and would do anything to ensure more people don’t fall into trouble all in the name of rushed marriage.
The key to successfully marriage is to find or wait for your soul mate. your chosen one.
A soul mate is your better half, someone who will love whatever you do.
Someone who will respect your decisions
someone who will stay with you through thick and thine
someone who can endure the hardship together with you
someone who until you leave this world, will stay with you and do everything to make life’s challenges a walk over for you.
He/she wouldn’t always show up as a president’s son or senator’s side kick, or as Beyonce and Rihanna. That soul mate, that life partner you’re praying endlessly for, may come in ways you never even expected.
A lady shared a testimony recently of how she met her husband. Before him though, there was a man who had proposed marriage to her. She traveled down to her village with her mother and siblings to prepare for the traditional marriage. Unfortunately, it seems her father is no more.
On her traditional day, after all the stress of cooking and preparing to meet their new in-laws, they were sent a message that groom to be was no longer interested in marry her. What a big embarrassment to the lady and her family.
She didn’t really get to recover from the shock, as a few weeks later, her office was calling for resumption..
During one of her early morning rush to work, she got to mile 2 and boarded a bus to her office location. Hardly had she settled in when she heard the young man seating next to her pleading with the bus conductor to help him out, that he didn’t know that some pick pocket had taken his wallet and made away with everything in it. He didn’t have extra cash on him, hence he pleaded with the bus conductor.
But the bus conductor refused to acknowledge his plea. He still demanded for his money. The lady sympathized with the man and decided to pay for his seat. She realized that no matter how much he begged, the bus conductor wouldn’t give up his money.
The young man she helped was full of joy. He thanked her profusely, and asked for her number. The lady refused. But after more persuasion from the man, she gave him.
That wasn’t enough. He asked for her office address, as she had refused giving him her home address. She gave him.
When the man reached his bus stop, he got off. But not without thanking the lady again.
After the bus zoomed off, the once observant passengers started to talk, saying it was nice she helped him. But couldn’t she see that he was a married man? Especially as he wore a ring? They started to say stuffs like, she shouldn’t have given him her number or work address.
“Abi you wan enter relationship with another woman husband?” One of the female passengers frowned.
She ignored them, mostly because she helped out of the goodness of her heart, not because she wanted to be his wife or even girlfriend. You know how we Nigerians don’t know how to mind our business ehn.
Anyway, few days later she was in her office having lunch break when a colleague of hers came in and told her that a man was looking for her. The lady was confused but went out to see who her unexpected visitor.
Well, it was the man from the bus. Funny enough, she had not expected to see him again.
When the guy saw her, he was truly glad. They exchanged pleasantries and then he pleaded with the lady to let him take her out for lunch, at least to repay her for her kindness. It took some serious begging though, before the lady agreed.
She was sincerely surprised he was taking her for lunch in a Range Rover Sport Car.
To cut the story short, a year later, they got married. It was just before their courtship she discovered that the ring he wore on the bus that day, was actually his elder brother’s. He had put it on so as not to lose it, as he was of the habit of misplacing things. He was just a man, very well to do and was in need of a good woman, who he met by accident.
When we end up with the wrong person, wrong things will happened in the marriage. But when you marry your soul mate, good things will happen.
It is probably why when 2face Idiba wanted to settled down, he went back to Annie. Not because she is the most beautiful. But because she was the one who was there for him when he was nothing. She was the one who stood by him and had forgiven all his mistakes. He realized that and married her.
Don’t kill yourself or cause more damaged to yourself because someone disappointed you, left you or broke an engagement with you. Truth is, those people who left are not your life partners. God wants you to be happy, that is why he gave each and every one of us a missing rib.
Lift your head high and don’t allow anyone rush you into a relationship or marriage you’re not so sure of. Better still, before you say I do, be very sure the person is someone who truly has your back.
Ifeoma Isabella Okeke is a passionate creative writer and a contributor on Pelleura. Her work, titled, ‘My Legendary-Achebe’ earned her an award in the 2016 essay writing competition. When she isn’t working or glued to her books, she spends time thinking up new ideas. Her two novels, Moonlight and the Warrior and The Return of Ijele are available on Okadabooks. Her life is indeed, her message.