Have you ever wished to know the mind of a fuckboy?
No. This is not a man-bashing post. I do not subscribe to ‘All Men are Dogs’ ideology because, I love men, and I have amazing men in my life (my Father inclusive).
Still, we cannot deny the fact that some men are just time wasters.
One of my goals in life is to reduce the number of heartbreaks and failed relationships.
It is due to this, that our next topic on Relationship Hangout with QueenBee, is on Fuckboys. The aim of this post is to arm ladies with the tool to sift the real men from the fuckboys, early on, before you get too attached.
A fuckboy can be called a prostitute, and according to Nancy Jo Sales, is a young man who sleeps with women without any intention of having a relationship with them.
My definition is more relatable, I think;
A fuckboy is a young man (could even be men in their fifties) who do not give a hoot about your feelings, but only about their libido
-QueenBee Aurora Idem
It is important to note that fuckboys are usually losers, who don’t have much going for them. They don’t know how to be responsible and responsibility scares them. They just want fun, without consequences. They do not believe in themselves, but in their ability to get laid.
Fuckboys don’t change, and even if you date them for years, they are always going to be fuckboys. He might dump your ass immediately he gets the cookie, or he might keep hitting it until you get tired of being in a situationship with him.
Now that you know who the term ‘fuckboy‘ refers to, let us look at the telltale signs that you can use to spot a fuckboy. Here are 10 telltale traits of a fuckboy:
1. Never Introduces You
When a man introduces you as his girlfriend or his woman, he is letting everyone know that you both are in a relationship and stakes his claim as the man in your life.
But a fuckboy will never introduce you as anything when you guys go out because to be sincere, he doesn’t know what to call you. All he cares about is the cookie and if he was gracious enough to take you out (you are probably paying). He will definitely not introduce you to anybody.
2. He hates Defining your Relationship
A fuckboy will not introduce you because he doesn’t know what to call you. You are neither his platonic friend nor his girlfriend. You are just one of the girls who serve him cookie. But he is not going to tell you that when you ask him ‘what are we?’
He is going to tell you he hates labels and does not believe in defining terms. He will tell you to be mature and let the feelings flow.
Before getting empowered, I had dated two fuckboys, and they both had this trait.
Did your mama ever tell you, that the right one does not leave you with doubts and confusion? She was right.
A fuckboy just wants you to serve up the cookie, without being responsible for anything. So, when ‘shit’ hits the fan, he can say;
“But we were never dating”
“We are not official”
“I never asked you out”
I was watching an episode of ‘WAGS’ and this beautiful, thick ass lady was pressuring her boyfriend into making them official. But he kept saying he didn’t like labels, and perhaps they were dating or not. It was so obvious she was with a fuckboy who just wanted the cookie and a way out, but she just couldn’t see it.
3. You Have Never Met His Friends
A fuckboy doesn’t want you involved in his life because he doesn’t want you getting ‘ideas’. So he will never introduce his friends to you, and his friends do not know you. They just know he hits random girls because he tells them about every time he has sex.
When asked about his friends, his slogan is “I am a one-man team, I really don’t do friends”.
Liar! He doesn’t want you in his life. Just serve up the cookie, and mind only cookie-related business like nude pictures.
4. He Always Wants Nudes
Even if a fuckboy had the cookie five minutes ago, he still wants a picture of the cookie later. When he slides into his inbox, he has nothing to discuss with you, all he wants is a load of nudes.
This is the reason a fuckboy will go on Facebook to release your nudes when you stop taking his shit because all they do is fuck ‘shit’ up.
5. He Never Makes Plans
A fuckboy is never going to make plans for dates and visits. He is just going to text you to meet at 10 pm because he just wants the cookie and you were his last resort.
He is going to tell you he wants to hang out with you, but he will never set a date and place. He wants his schedule open and will only text you whenever he is free.
6. His Favorite Hangout Spot is His Crib
Whether a man has the bucks in his pocket or he is a low earning individual, he wants to take you out sometime, and treat you to a nice date, if he is a real man. But with a fuckboy, the reverse is the case.
Because he never wants to make plans, and only texts at odd hours or booty calls, his favourite hangout spot is his crib. ‘How about Netflix and Chill’ is his favourite line, and this is a classic trait of a fuckboy, since time immemorial.
7. He goes Missing in Action and has no Explanation
A fuckboy will disappear for days, with no means of contacting him. Then he re-appear with no explanation, whatsoever. He doesn’t think he owes you an explanation because you are nothing but a cookie jar to him.
8. He Makes Condescending Comments About Your Appearance
A fuckboy never has a good comment about your appearance, unless he is trying to hit the cookie. He is the type who says, ‘You are fat’, ‘You look dull without makeup’, ‘That skirt doesn’t look good, it will be better on Shantel’.
He only wants to make himself look better than you, and make you feel like you owe him a lot for even sparing you a look. He is also going to act like he didn’t hear when other guys compliment you.
9. He Never Puts in Effort
I think it is clear as day, that you are with a fuckboy if you are the one putting in all the effort in the situation ship.
He never calls, but texts you on WhatsApp, and every messenger he can lay his fingers on. You do all the calling, you plan the dates, you are the one always showing affection in public, and he feels uncomfortable with it.
He tells you he is always busy, but he is on the gram 24hours a day, liking pictures of sexy Instagram celebrities, or he tells you he doesn’t have airtime but never lacks data to text you with.
10. He Never Likes Being Seen In Public With You
That is why he untagged himself when you tagged him to pictures. He never allows you both take a picture together. If you ever spend the night in his crib, he is not going to walk you to the bus stop because, on that street, he probably has one or two girls he is also dating.
He is never going to attend an event with you because he doesn’t want to run into one of his cookie jars.
If you spot three or more of these traits in your man, sweetheart, you are dating a fuckboy, and my advice is to run as far as your legs can carry you before it is too late.
What other traits of a fuckboy, have you come in contact with? Tell us in the comment section.
Until next week, shine your eyes and don’t let someone play you.
About The Author
QueenBee Aurora is a writing coach, publisher, content creator, freelance writer and editor. See more of her at ToriesNg, where she shares amazing and inspirational stories. Check out her story on ToriesNg, Black Widow.